Baby names

So, for the past while, Alia has liked to occasionally bring up the topic of baby names. Now, this in no way implies that either of us is planning to have any need for baby names for a while, but discuss them we do. I think it stems from a socio-cultural atmosphere of baby making inherent in the Church, with it's history back to the far-flung days of yore when Alia was in Young Women and they would have activities like "Picking Baby Names", or "How to Choose an Appropriately Worthless Major in College while Still Showing You are Intelligent, So You Can Get Married and Use the 'Baby Names' Lesson".

Anyway(s), it has become a focal point of our...um, how did she phrase it?....debates. The problem being that I don't like any boy names. None. I hate most other boys, and I have always thought boy names were stupid.

Girl names are so euphonious; the way they lyrically drip off the tongue like warm syrup onto the Eggo's of my ears. Alia is a prime example. Beautiful name, good job Ang and Rich.

However, guys have names like Bob, Jermaine, and Spike. Additionally, any name that does sound good runs the very high risk of sounding effeminate. And if that isn't enough, as Alia and I are both the coolest nerds we know, and major geeks, we tend to want to use names we'd see in The Silmarillion or some other fantasy book/video game. I don't want to name my first son Turin Turambar.

Also, every time Alia mentioned a name, I would retort by saying that I knew a guy with that name, and he was a total loser, and if we named our child that, he would most certainly become a prostitute or a drug dealer or would buy Linkin Park CDs. All of which are completely unacceptable.

So, what to do?

Well, Alia asked me last night, while I was trying to fall asleep, but since I love her, I postponed my slumbers for a few minutes, considered it thoughtfully, and said the best name I could think of: Spiderwing. I mean, what's more awesome than Spider that could fly? Forget the ballooning or swinging--- a flying spider is a foe to be reckoned with.

Well, that was met with the appropriate punches in the arm and exasperated sighs. So, I thought a little bit harder, and came up with Merlin. Good name. Powerful wizard, and an older gentleman, the Patriarch, actually, in my stake had that name.

More punches. I guess that falls into the fantasy department.

And thus, as I laid there, with my arm bruised and my elbow bleeding, I realized that I should just give up. My opponent was stronger, faster, and better than me. I know Alia is going to name our children whatever she wants, regardless of my, dare I say, brilliant suggestions.

So, I formally surrender. Alia can name the kids. I've realized I'm worthless. With no power comes no responsibility, and I'm more than happy to rip off my pants and hand them to her.

Proverbially, that is.

Alex